Unmasking Masculinity: A Call for Men to Reflect, Revise, and Rise

Men are struggling because of their inability to see what is hurting and what can help them. 

The simple fact is the majority of men are stuck in old ideas of masculinity that they have yet to review. Now many men reading this may think I am going to bash masculinity but if you know me or have listened to anything I have written or recorded you know that is not the case. I come from a blue collar background, I come from grit, hard work, and old views of masculinity many men like to mislabel as "Traditional". I say all of this because there is a place for this by examining what we were given by the previous generation, what is valuable and helpful, and what is detrimental. 

Now, let's get some things straight, I have a certain belief of what I BELIEVE men should do, how they should act, what they should hold valuable, and what virtues they should try to strive for. However, those are my beliefs based on the fabric of what is within integrity in how I hold myself, part of how I was raised, and what I reviewed was beneficial for me and the men in this world. What I do not do, is say a man is not a man if he does not hold my similar values. What I do say is that every man has a responsibility to reflect and question his internal compass and beliefs, decide what is authentic to him, and behave in a way that allows him to show up as his most authentic and healthy masculine version. 

Back to my original conversation, the issue I personally see in men I speak with, men I coach, and men I see as "Influencers" in the men's space, is the fact that many of them have never taken inventory of what was given to them, challenged it, removed what was not authentic to them and their beliefs, and then incorporated what was consistent with them. Because of that, men struggle. They fail to see ways they can be a healthier version not only for themselves but also how they can be a better version of masculinity for society. We are the leaders of the next generation of men and we are the guides for how women view and value masculinity. When we live by old paradigms we perpetuate the same issues our fathers struggled with. 

So there is a real issue with men today and its not what most people are talking about. All I ask is that men stat challenging the way they see the world, ask the questions of why they see it that way and what insecurity in them could that viewpoint be protecting, and then asking if I removed that perspective, what would that potentially open up in my life. The final step to that is to then review the insecurity and see how you can address the root of it (something left for a longer conversation). If we as men can do that, then we as men can begin to grow collectively and give a better caliber of man that this world deserves.